yes, it's just not me. haha

some people may have realized that I am quite a bit different with any other girls on my age. not only because I'm not that girlish, but also because of my unusual responses and acts toward a lot of things.

what I just realized recently, my responses and point of views towards friendship is waaaaay different from those "normal" girl. ahaha. yeah, "normal" girl.

girls on my age tend to be very dependent to their friends. I mean, when they have problems, they would go straight to their friends. they would expect their friends to help solving those problems together and make a strong so-called best friendship.

with me, things are a complete contrary. when I got dirt, I would keep it for my self, until I couldn't resist anymore, and that happens only very rarely. and when I feel like I'd blow up alone, I would rather go to my boyfriend or my family or my bestbest friends--I got only three of them-- then tell all my girl friends about the dirt.

on a second thought, maybe I do that only because I have no girl friends. ahahaha

no, not that I have NO girl friends like no as in really zero, but I find it pretty hard for me to actually open to someone. people may see me as a big blabber mouth. I couldn't keep a secret. they may see me as a girl who shares all her love story and family story and everything she has to everyone, but the truth is, I don't really share anything :)

recently, I got a huge problem because I tell my so-called bestfriend's secret to someone, and that secret apparently spreads to everyone on my high school. what really bugs me is that the news spreading out so wildly is not the real thing that I know. you know, it's gossip. those stupid girls won't survive until they ruin someone's life by saying bad and wrong things about someone. bad things are fine, everyone does bad things, but wrong thing, that's a crap.

so my image is totally screwed. they call me backstabber and some even call me a bitch. but hell, I don't give any damn. I am a bitch, in some ways. every girl has a bitch side. each of them does. some of them may not realize. some of them may realize but too scared to admit. and some of them realized it, and bluntly admit. I belong to the third group, I suppose. haha

and yes, I really am guilty about this secret-spreading things, but I have rights to excuse. and my excuse is: I don't tell my secrets to anyone, that's why I believe, no one tells secrets to me. ahahaha stupiiiiiiddd yeah I know. and I'm sooooo sorry about it. I always treat people the way I wanna be treated. and because I never tell something that nobody shouldn't know, I thought everyone does too. and that turns to be wrong. huhu. sorry Mita :(

so the point is, you can count on me for a problem solving, but never, I'll say it again, NEVER tell your deeeeeeepest secret to me. I'll accidentally tell it to everyone.. not in a purpose to hurt you or anything, but the thing is, I'm just not a best-girl-friend material :DD

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